Questions our imaginary customers ask

No. Absolutely not. dodrugs.now is satire. Our entire inventory is grass, water, naps, sunshine, exercise, and dogs. There are no substances, no dosages, and no sourcing — because there's nothing to source. The whole site is a joke whose punchline is 'go drink some water.'

It cannot. There is no cart, no checkout, and no money. Clicking it prints a comedic fake prescription label telling you to do the wholesome thing. The most it will cost you is the dawning realization that you've been ignoring basic self-care.

Yes. That is the whole product. We are, frankly, very confident in it. GoodBoy-ol has a 100% customer satisfaction rate among the dogs involved.

No. But if you'd like the experience of one, our Self-Prescribe tool will run four extremely scientific questions and hand you a legally meaningless Rx. It's the funnest way to be told to take a nap.

It is not. We are a comedy website operated by zero licensed professionals and one fictional dog. If something actually hurts, talk to a real human doctor — not a parody pharmacy run by a golden retriever.

Because it's water. Everything here is free forever. Our business model is a rounding error. We make our money in 'vibes,' which is also not real money.

Absolutely not. We made them up. The numbers are fictional, the reviewers are fictional, and the stars are decorative. The advice underneath them, annoyingly, is solid.

Sibling joke domains in our extended cinematic universe of nonsense. They're bits, like this one. Click around if you enjoy being mildly confused on purpose.