Schedule LOLLOT ℞·GRAS
Grassanax XR
touchus grassum (outdoor blade contact)
For when the discourse has fully poisoned your brain.
dodrugs.now · est. right now · no prescription needed
dodrugs.nowPop a bubble. Feelabsurdly better.
The internet's premier blister-pack of premium, uncut, lab-gradewellness. We carry exactly six (6) drugs: grass, water, a nap, the sun, a jog, and a dog. 100% effective. 100% free. 0% real.
- 6life-changing compounds
- $0.00street value, somehow
- 0actual drugs (it's a bit)
Active ingredients, honestly listed
- Touching grass (900mg)
- Plain water (8 glasses)
- A nap (1 unit)
- Direct sunlight (as tolerated)
- One dog (very good)
Top shelf
This week's best-sellers
Each one rigorously tested by absolutely no one. Pop "Add to Cart" and find out what you're really ordering.
Schedule H2OLOT ℞·HYDR
Hydromaxx 8000
dihydrogen monoxide (the wet one)
Clinically indistinguishable from just drinking water.
Schedule ZZZLOT ℞·NAPR
Naprozac PM
horizontalium (lie-down extract)
The only sleep aid that is also just sleep.
The science
How the heck this works
A rigorous, peer-unreviewed, three-step pipeline.
- 01
Pop a bubble
Pick a premium wholesome compound off the blister sheet. Slam that big satisfying button.
- 02
Get prescribed
Our board-certified golden retriever prints you a legally meaningless Rx label.
- 03
Feel suspiciously good
Realize the 'drug' was drinking water / going outside the entire time. Devastating.
Ready to ruin your bit by feeling better?
One click. One fake prescription. One genuinely good idea you've been avoiding for three days.
Self-prescribe nowNot medical advice. Not real drugs. Just your friend telling you to drink some water, lovingly, via a website.